Fatima's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘therapist

Posted on: May 19, 2011

When my daughter began reading my blog, was she happy about the nice blogs I had written about her and her daughters? NO!

She was wild about the nasty things (yes, they WERE nasty) about her and her husband that I wrote almost a year ago about the now infamous dog-bite incident and the horrible Christmas when she never even called me. Did I say some not-so-nice things? Yes. Are they few and far between? Yes. But they will be the subject of our therapy session in 10 days. She has printed out the ones that were the worst and will show them to the therapist. What he’s supposed to do? Scold me?

Because of these blogs she has written me off, as it were. I was supposed to have two medical procedures done this week, One was absolutely necessary, one elective. She is my ride home after these procedures because they involve anesthesia. She was now refused to pick me up from the second procedure so I have to somehow make other arrangements. The doctor was in shock about it. After the first procedure this week, she had a hissy fit because the procedure took longer than normal and she had to get me medicine and something to eat. She is afraid of losing her job because she takes too mush time off (she went on vacation 2 weeks ago and is taking her daughters to the dentist and orthodontist, even though I have offered to to that for her). If she were so afraid to take time off, she would let me help her. “No,” she says.”You;ll hold it over my head.” I may have mentioned it in my blog but I never say, “Look how much I do for you.”

It’s the same thing with repaying a substantial loan I made to her and her husband. They are far behind repaying the loan and they are crying about hard times and they will get a second mortgage if they have to so I won’t hold it over their heads. They go out to eat, go on vacations, have Spurs season tickets, bought an iPad, but can’t pay me because it’s hard. I’ve offered to extend the loan for a year if they will make regular payments and pay a tiny interest on the extra year. Clint, her husband, is in charge of this, I guess, but she doesn’t want to sign anything until a year from now, 15 months after the loan is due. I tried to explain to her that is she doesn’t sign an extension, the loan is due-NOW. She watches enough judge shows to know this. She also doesn’t want to pay interest, which was not what she said when she asked for the loan through her tears. I think 2% interest for 15 months is very reasonable. It’s the principle (no pun intended) of the thing.

She’s also mad because I used her car “too long” when my car was in the shop after a hit-and-run accident. We didn’t realize it would take that long. I could have rented a car through the insurance. But she didn’t tell me she was upset. Instead, she told everyone that she had to take the car from me “by force.” Her husband gave me a ride to the shop. I could have taken a cab. It was sort of funny.

So because of the blog, I have no help with hospitals and no Mother’s Day celebration (Clint was sick) and no help with anything. I don’t feel I should have to capitulate to her whims when I need to write and get my thoughts out of my head so I won’t blow up. Luckily, I see the therapist before we go together so maybe I can tell him it may get volatile (again). This hospital thing is the first thing I’ve asked her to do in a year. I went on vacation and parked my card at the airport, boarded my dog, did my own thing. She was mad about that,too, because I visited her former second step-mother who left her father after he nearly broke her jaw. She’s now married and happy but Sabrina holds grudges for a long time. She’s like her father and my mother, the worst of each. She can be sweet but more often she is self-centered and bitchy. Like she is now.

So there is my second surprise shock–find your own way to deal with the hospital. I, on the other hand, will help her if she asks me, because that’s who I am. She’s my only child. Why shouldn’t I help her? I just care about her too much.



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